Back when I was a high school student in Russia I spent a
few weeks at a summer camp with my schoolmates. One day I walked into a room
where a few guys were hanging out. There was a pool table in the room, some balls
on the table, but I didn't see a cue.
I wasn't sure where to find a cue and wanted to ask (in
Russian) "Do you have a cue?". However, I misspoke and asked "Do
you have a "khui" ("хуй" in Russian)?" In Russian the word
"хуй" (penis) is pronounced similarly to the word "кий"
(cue stick). A psychoanalyst should probably be able to explain the underlying reasons
for such an error. J
The guys laughed for about half an hour and each of them
tried to assure me that he had a "хуй".
I was embarrassed. To decidedly resolve this situation I foolishly
proclaimed "That's it. I am not using "F" words anymore!".
It's interesting what happened next. This was a strong and
rather optimistic promise by a sixteen year old boy to completely stop swearing
and using profanities ("ругаться матом"). I was not that strong-willed
back then and continued using profane words in my speech. However, each time I used
a profane word my schoolmates reminded me that I have promised to stop
swearing. Each time they ridiculed me and told me that I needed to stop using
profane words because of the promise. I probably do not need to tell you that
they used all the taboo words themselves. Almost all my schoolmates conspired
against me and the peer pressure from my "friends" was unbearable.
You can probably imagine how cruel teenagers were back then.
It was regular non-stop negative reinforcement and gradually
(like a Pavlov's dog) I started using fewer and fewer profane words in my
speech. In a few months I had completely stopped using them.
This case shows how to harness the power of peer pressure. What
essentially happened there is that I recruited schoolmates to be members of a peer
support group in my accidental endeavor to stop using profane words. It was
very similar to the approaches used by such organizations as Anonymous
Alcoholics and Weight Watchers. In my case I successfully (although accidentally)
harnessed the power of peer pressure (a.k.a. bullying) to accomplish a personal
growth objective.
You too can use this trick to fight extra weight, an alcohol
addiction or the use of profane words in your speech. In addition to the above
objectives you can also use peer pressure to accomplish any goal you want.
You just need to publicly announce your goal and ask
(explicitly or implicitly, as in my case) your peers to remind you and keep
track of your progress and missteps.
Nobody can do it better than your "friends". They
would selflessly volunteer their time to point to your errors and would not
allow event a single misstep to get unnoticed. In this case, the more "friends"
you have in your peer support group, the better. Every cloud has a silver
lining and you can use even bullies to accomplish something positive. You can
use their help for a wide range of challenging tasks ranging from setting up a
new regimen of physical exercises to meticulous completion of your school
assignments or another challenging task you have in mind. You just need to
announce it and ask your friends and "friends" to help build your
motivation and resolve.
By the way, there is a smartphone app for this. Task List
and To-do List application YouDo @Google Play Store can facilitate this process. You can use YouDo to share
your Task List with your friends on Facebook or over an e-mail. YouDo would
also send a Twitter update on the progress of completion of your tasks and
changes in their priorities.
Further reading:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mat_(Russian_profanity)
http://psychology.about.com/od/classicalconditioning/a/pavlovs-dogs.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_conditioning
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivan_Pavlov
http://www.aa.org
http://www.weightwatchers.com
